- Dave

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Chris and Josh join me for this installment of SRD Radio. We talk about Pennsylvania, Super Delegates, Aliens, Abortion Art, and the Amazon Kindle. Fun times was had by all. What, what in the butt?!

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Back in 2005, I wrote an article entitled “Shut up and Wrestle,” which basically laid out all my gripes about the state of the professional wrestling industry. Here we are, two and a half years later, and things have gotten worse. Much worse. On a recent installment of SRD Radio, Al Creed, John Gohlson and myself discussed why the WWE is in such shambles.

Note: I have resigned to calling Vince McMahon’s disastrous promotion the WWE instead of the WWF because that organization now bears no resemblance to the once-great organization that brought us the original incarnations of Hulk Hogan, Shawn Michaels, Bret Hart, The Rock, Kurt Angle and Stone Cold Steve Austin. To continue to call said organization the WWF would be insulting to both classic professional wrestling and panda bears.

The consensus on SRD Radio that night was that the whole thing started going down the crapper in late 2003, early 2004. I myself stopped watching the WWE regularly after Wrestlemania XX, where I was grossly disappointed with most of, if not the entire card. Since then it has been hard to take Vince McMahon seriously.

Vince is a lot like George W. Bush in the fact that he is only as good as the people he surrounds himself with. He has a lot of good ideas, but he needs a good team around him in order to filter out all the crap. When he listens to people like Paul Heyman, Jim Ross, or even Shane and Stephanie, his brands do well. But when he listens to the likes of Johnny Ace and television writers who have no interest in professional wrestling (and don’t care to learn much about it,) that’s when the product takes a serious nosedive. When you think that girls showing their big, fat, plastic tits is a better main event than a kick-ass World Championship match, than you have no business even booking house shows, let alone a live broadcast like Raw. Sadly, this is what the Raw and Smackdown brands have degenerated into for the most part. But it isn’t just the tits. The people that Vince surrounds himself with haven’t the first clue about in-ring compatibility and long-term rivalry matches. I’m sorry, but Cena vs. Batista vs. Edge vs. vs. Undertaker vs. Orton vs. Triple H times fifty has gotten pretty old over the last four years. Hit us with something new for crying out loud, or at the very least something we’ll care about!

So what should be done about it? We had a few ideas.

#1: ROSTER MERGER! In 2002, in the wake of the WWF needing to redefine itself after the flop that was the WCW “Invasion,” and also having more wrestlers than they knew what to do with, Vince split his roster into two brands: Raw and Smackdown. Both shows had their own sets of champions and their own pay-per-views. Surprisingly, it worked for a couple of years. But after they started screwing around with the rosters and began moving everybody around, they effectively killed the awesomeness they had going for them, especially on the Smackdown side. This was around Wrestlemania XX time, and, you guessed it, the product has been crap-nuts ever since. The rosters have gotten thinner as wrestlers have jumped off this sinking ship and headed to where the grass is greener over at NWA-TNA (or so it seems at first. TNA has been having many of the same problems that the WWE has been having, only the names are different. But I digress…) In order to save his brand, Vince needs to bring everybody back under one banner.

#2: Championship Consolidation! Just like after the Invasion, there are way too many championships flying around. This probably goes without saying when you have a roster merger, but this organization needs to have only ONE World Champion, TWO Tag Team Champions, ONE Women’s champion, ONE Second-tier (i.e. Intercontinental) Champion, and maybe a Cruiserweight Champion. The titles have more value when there are less of them amongst a large number of wrestlers.

#3: Define Your Stars! In the last four years, the WWE has been pushing four guys to the max: Edge, Batista, Randy Orton and John Cena. The problem these guys face is that they are just good, not great. None of them can measure up to the Hulkster, Bret, Shawn, Rocky, Kurt or Stone Cold, and John made a good point that this is because they haven’t had the blockbuster rivalries that defined them as professional wrestling superstars. The only real opposition they have thrown at these guys are WWE mainstays Triple H and the Undertaker. Triple H seems to have a self-esteem complex and refuses to put anybody over. Sure he’s lost, but in the end he always seems to be the one who ends up back on top. He has lost a lot of good will with the fans over the years. The Undertaker, however, is the exact opposite. He is always a crowd pleaser and has always been willing to do his part to put up-and-coming wrestlers over. He’s main event material, but he has no problems working the under card when he is needed. My opinion is that Edge, Batista, Orton and Cena are all trapped in Triple H’s shadow. If the WWE wants to be a respected organization again, it will begin booking matches that define these wrestlers in the same light as the greats.

#4: Improved Roster! Another problem that the top tier and even the rest of the WWE roster faces is that they just aren’t as good as they are made out to be. Sorry. That’s just the way it is. The ones who are worth watching two hours of garbage for are lost in the under card and stupid gimmicks. The WWE needs to fire wrestlers who suck and bring the diamonds-in-the-rough (so to speak) out of the dark matches and into the upper-middle card and main events! Damn, you think this shit would be so obvious!

So, in conclusion, I don’t have much hope that things will change in WWE-land anytime soon. I can’t speak for Al or John, but is a sad time to be a pro wrestling fan. At least on television it is. If you want to see some real talent, go to some local independent and developmental shows. That is, hopefully, where the future of this industry is.

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This episode is the answer to the Ultimate Question according to Douglas Adams. Apparently the answer is Transmen getting pregnant, the current state of Hillary vs. Obama, John McCain, and the PowerBall. Enjoy!

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Frank Says:

Hmmmmm… you say the film is “gay” which is a good thing so I assumed you liked it but then your review sounds like you don´t like it at all. You sure have me confused…

and

Nicole Says:

Please don’t use the word “gay” as some sort of insult- it’s offensive and ignorant. If you want people to take you and your criticisms of this movie seriously, don’t use frat boy language to make your point.
Thanks.

and my personal favorite:

Strepsi Barcolet Says:

re: “It really is becoming like trying to have a discussion about High School with someone still in Kindergarten, and the Kindergartner gets all high and mighty and thinks it knows what being in High School is really like.” Like talking to someone who uses “gay” as an insult. In America you can be killed for being gay — or even appearing to be gay. And I am sure anybody who is REALLY “Butt-effing gay” has gone through much MORE danger, every day, and is much braver than you. Please re-think your headlines over that Coke.

So this was my response:

Okay, I’m going to knock all this in one fell swoop. Watch my awesomeness.

In closing, I’ll say whatever I damn well want to say. This is America. Fuck off!

This comment was made after I made this last brilliant point, and that point still applies so no response is required.

Bugsy Says:

SRD, you’re a total fucking moron. A total moron.

Cool that you were a soldier, but you obviously didn’t know what you were fighting for if you’re judging other people’s lifestyles. You’re particularly un-American it seems.

Whatever. If wouldn’t mind it so much if these guys would have come at me with some kind of substance instead of knee-jerk emotional reaction, but that is how these PC-types think.

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This episode is all about Pro Wrestling… plus, Al and I sing “O Canada.” It’s great fun. Have a listen, why don’t you?

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STOP-LOSS Policy – The retention of soldiers in the service beyond their expected term. Using a loophole in soldiers’ military contracts to prohibit servicemen and women from retiring once their required term of service is complete. Also widely known as a “Back Door Draft.” “Stop-Loss,” director Kimberly Peirce’s first film since the Academy Award®-winning “Boys Don’t Cry,” is a topical and emotionally penetrating drama examining a government policy that has affected the lives of more than 80,000 of America’s brave men and women in uniform. The enforcement of the Stop-Loss policy makes each of them walk the fine line between doing their duty and doing what’s right. Sgt. Brandon King (Ryan Phillippe) fought for America. He fought for freedom. He fought for his family. He gave everything and then he came home to begin his life anew. But now they want more. They want him back.

I admit, I had a lot of preconceived notions about this film before I saw it. Before the opening credits rolled, I turned to my friend and said “Oh yeah, this is going to totally suck.” And I was right. For so many reasons. This movie is quite possibly more gay than “Boys Don’t Cry,” and that is saying something. Warning, there are spoilers ahead.

First of all, reserach was horrible. There was no excuse for how piss poor inaccurate it was. Everything in this movie, from the war itself, to coming home, to leave, to being stop-lossed, to going AWOL, is one hundred percent unrealistic. You would think Kimberly Peirce would have at least asked someone “Hey, how exactly would being stop-lossed go down?” instead of just making up what she thinks happens. I guess I had an unfair advantage having been active duty Army for the last eight years, being a former Army recruiter, and having been to war twice myself. If you had never been in the military you wouldn’t have known the difference, but that is still no excuse for how poorly the sequence of events was put together.

Let’s start with the theme of the movie, the Stop-Loss. The main character is supposed to be “getting out,” even though most of us call it “ETSing.” (End Time Service.) But that’s a small gripe. The bigger gripe is how the main character shows up and says “I’m getting out today” the day after their first weekend back from Iraq. It doesn’t work that way. You don’t just wake up the day you get out and just mosey into the S1 and say “Yep, its my last day” like you’re quitting McDonald’s. You have to go through a ten-day to two week process called “clearing” before you sign out of the Army for good. But even if we toss all that out the window, the way he was stop-lossed was absolutely ridiculous and unbelievable. He walks into the Admin offices (where for some reason they are working in dress uniforms, which hasn’t been happening in decades) and the clerk just casually says “Oops, sorry, you’ve been stop-lossed. You’re going back to Iraq in a week.” There is so much wrong with this it is hard to decide where to begin. The Army doesn’t stop-loss individuals and send them back to Iraq one at a time. When a stop-loss is imposed it is imposed on an entire unit. Nobody from the unit can PCS (change duty stations) or ETS, they retrain and are sent to whatever theatre they need to go to, and once they get back they can continue with any PCS or ETS plans. And it doesn’t just sneak up on you at the last second jump out and yell “SURPRISE!” Stop-losses can be seen coming months in advance. And believe me when I tell you that nobody goes back to war less than two weeks after they have gotten home. I served back-to-back tours in Iraq with the 226th Med Log and we had a 8 month break in between them, and that is considered rushing back.

As for going AWOL, the idea that this guy was “on the run” and every law enforcement agency were aggressively hunting him down was pure baloney. I know people who have gone AWOL and nobody really cares. They don’t even look for those guys. The only way to get caught from AWOL is to either go to some totally obvious place, like your parents house, or turning yourself in. The way they see it is that they’ll screw up eventually and get themselves caught, or go up to Canada. If they are going to go to Canada, the Army probably doesn’t want them in combat anyway.

Those were just the most glaring of the numerous inaccuracies in the movie. There are plenty more. Now lets move on the portrayal of soldiers. Apparently Kimberly Peirce doesn’t hold Soldiers in high regard. The movie goes out of its way to paint them all as irrational, impulsive, gun crazy, alcoholic, brain-dead hicks. Come to think of it, that is how the entire state of Texas is portrayed in this movie. I find it hard to believe that a staff sergeant in the United States Army would barge into his commander’s office and say “Fuck the President.” That crap just doesn’t happen. The PTSD angle was pushed way too hard in this movie, to the point of becoming annoying. War is hell and PTSD is a real thing, we all get it. But not all soldiers suffering from this act out their impulses in the extreme fashion that is portrayed in this film. I also find it offensive that anybody who is patriotic and “pro-war” in this movie is portrayed as a dumbass Umericuh-luvvin Bush-Zombie.

It is plain from watching that Kimberly Peirce doesn’t think that this is America’s war, it’s “The President’s War.” Well, coming from an actual war veteran, I would like to send this message to Miss Peirce: Go Screw Yourself! I am getting tired of having the war debate with people who have no clue what the hell is really going on. I am tired of people who have never been engaged in this war, never even put themselves in danger, trying to tell me that “the war is a lost cause” or that “troops or dying for no reason” or “insert-overused-anti-war-slogan-here.” It really is becoming like trying to have a discussion about High School with someone still in Kindergarten, and the Kindergartner gets all high and mighty and thinks it knows what being in High School is really like. So unless you actually want to have an honest intellectual discussion about it and have most of your facts straight, as Miss Peirce obviously didn’t even try to, I really don’t feel like hearing what you have to say.

That’s all I have to say. I’m seriously pissed off now. I need a Coke. Badly.

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• It only took 40 episodes for me to do one naked!
• Barack Hussein Obama in: “The Peachy Preacher!”
• On a lighter note, woman gets new anus, and apparently you can pleasure yourself in public on AA flights.
• The War is 5 years old today. It’s still right and we’re still winning.

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• The band has broken up. SRD Radio wishes everybody from the old ISPN Media the best of luck.
• Rush and talk radio succeeded in causing chaos in the Democrat party.
• B. Hussein Obama is caught in at least two lies about NAFTA.
• Geraldine Ferraro dares to say anything about B. Hussein Obama being black.
• Elliot Spitzer resigns.
• There’s a war in Israel. Did you know?
• Assholes are making pro-lifers look bad at “Horton Hears a Who” screening.
• England unveils its first “Text Safe” Street.

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Okay, so maybe American Hero is a bit of an exaggeration. But he is one of the last real positive role models left, and he just announced his retirement.

Green Bay Packers quarterback Brett Favre has decided to retire.

ESPN’s Chris Mortensen reported that according to Favre’s agent, Buss Cook, Favre informed Packers coach Mike McCarthy of his decision Monday night.

Mortensen said in a phone message Favre left for him Tuesday morning, the longtime Packers starter said he felt worn down by the demands of the game, adding that he and his wife Deanna thought anything short of a Super Bowl title would be a disappointment and not worth the mental wear and tear.

From ESPN via Nosebleed

I have to say that I was surprised, and I’ll tell you why. For the last ten or so years, Brett has been going through cycles. For a season or two he won’t do so well, and all the pundits and armchair quarterbacks will be calling for his retirement.

“Give it up, old man!” They would say.

But then the cycle would come back around to stellar. And when Brett Favre is in stellar mode, he really goes all out. He confounds all expectations and is one of, if not the best quarterback in the league. This is when all the pundits forget everything they were saying just a year before.

“Brett just keeps getting better with age!” They would say.

There is so much flip-flopping going on in sports journalism when it comes to Brett Favre, you would think they were all taking lessons from John Kerry. I have to tell you, journalism must be the only industry in the world where there is no accountability or consequence if you are dead wrong. But anyway…

Brett was the only quarterback to be an all-star quarterback in both the nineties and the 2000s. When you think about quarterbacks like Steve Young, Troy Aikman and John Elway, you have to put Brett Favre near or at the top of that elite list. Now, especially after the 2007 season, when you talk about Tom Brady, Tony Romo, Peyton and Eli Manning, Brett, again, has to be near or at the top of the list. Very few sports figures have been a major part of two seperate eras.

There is a reason why Favre was such an exception player, and that reason is leadership. He didn’t just play on the team, he lead the team, and he lead by being a part of the team. Did you catch all that? Let me explain further by ripping on Donovan McNabb. (I am always looking for a reason to rip on McNabb…)

McNabb is a failure for the exact opposite reason that Brett Favre is a success: he is a selfish asshole. He doesn’t lead the team, he just plays with them. For the last few seasons, the Eagles have been carrying him. He didn’t really care if the team won, he only cared if Donovan McNabb won. You can’t be a self-absorbed asshole and expect people to elevate their level of play under your leadership. Why do you think Terrell Owens split? McNabb needed TO more than TO needed McNabb. When your followers don’t want to follow you, they begin to forge their own paths and you are the one that suffers.

Favre, on the other hand, was a team player. It wasn’t about Brett Favre and it never was. It was always about the Green Bay Packers. He lifted up and inspired his teammates to excel, and the team was successful. That is the hallmark of a true leader; complete selflessness.

With the hip-hop and MySpace culture corrupting our airwaves, America’s youth has become much more self centered than the previous generation. It shows everywhere you look, especially in professional sports. There are too many Donovan McNabbs around and not enough Brett Favres. In that aspect, I think, it isn’t an exaggeration to call Brett an American Hero. He displayed that being a selfless leader wins not only ball games, but makes you an outstanding human being.

Thanks for everything, Brett. The Packers, neigh, the entire NFL will not be the same without you.

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